Do you have someone in your life who has put up high walls? As I have talked to others, it seems to be a common experience. For my person, the bricks are of cruel, controlling words, the I know what is better for your life than you possibly can, and I got my info straight from God kind of words. The you can't be let off my hook of abuse or forgiven until I say so words. Very much a fortress.The last time I communicated with High Walls, I had sent a gift card as well as a friendly note. The gift card was sent back after a few weeks, partially used. It seems, High Walls thought about my kindness, and decided embracing my kindness would be toxic. Like I was a leper. "Unclean! Unclean!" Right in the middle of the spending, right in the middle of buying the mocha latte or non-fat cappuccino.
This all reminds me of God and my relationship with Him. He gives us, me, the gifts of love and acceptance, grace and rescue from ourselves, myself, enslaving deities, and high walls. He comes and hangs with us in the person of Jesus. We send His gifts back. Some of us send them back sooner than others.
Some of us do this sending back in small ways - I won't receive your love today; I'd rather have a pity party. Others send His gifts back in big ways - no, I'd rather be my own god, use drugs, watch porn, sleep around, buy a child to sleep with, slander others, steal, be religious and legalistic, commit suicide on some level. Some of these rejections of God's gifts are very high walls, to be sure. Family and friends may have helped us in putting up the walls. Maybe, high walls were all we saw growing up.
As I paint today, I pray I receive God's gift of love and acceptance, His grace, again, today. May I slow my arrogance of putting up high walls with Him and with others. Especially Him. Good, healthy boundaries, yes, because there are bees coming at us who sting with sharp words and blows. But, I have to rethink fortresses. At least between God and me. I'll need His help.
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